Saturday, June 19, 2010

Goodnight Fat Girl vs Skinny Girl!

Yesterday I got all my gardening supplies and seeds. The seeds, soil, and compost are all organic. So, I am very excited about starting my garden. Last night I planted beets and tomatoes. Today I will plant cabbage, beans, broccoli raab and cauliflower.

I am feeling I little guilty about posting this morning. My blog is going in a different direction. Fat girl vs Skinny girl is no more. When I started this blog almost a year ago I was in this major battle with myself. I was confused on how to reduce my weight, what to eat, how to exercise, how to live life as a fat girl. The first and most important thing I did for myself was to toss the scale out. That scale brought me heartache and pain. When I looked down at the scale and saw the number of an obese lady it made me feel like a failure. One day I was talking to my friend of 20 years about it and she changed my life. She told me that I was not a failure and she had never seen me fail at anything. My mom had to second that and she has known me since I was born ;-). It felt really good to hear that and I ran with it.

Over the past year I have learned to love myself, take care of myself by eating healthy, reducing stress, getting more sleep, taking more vacations, getting toxic people out of my life and feeling good about all my choices. My life is so much better since I started my journey and in the end it had nothing to do with the weight. I have to admit that since I started this blog I have lost a total of 22 pounds which is not bad at all. My belly is smaller and my body looks leaner. This journey was about me believing in myself and realizing that I am a okay person. I have a great family, great friends and a wonderful life. It's about acceptance and that is what I have done.

So, this might sound like a farewell post but it is not. I will still be posting but not about my failures but about my successes. My future post will not be how I need to maintain but how I am living. Melissa, (Getting healthy with Melissa) left me a comment and she said that I was in a "good place" and I thought about how true that comment was. It feels so good to be in a good place and being able to recognize it. Sometimes we need to just stop and ask ourselves are we in a great place.

Before I end today I would like to thank all my blogging friends and this community. It has been a blessing to be part of this world. My plan in the future is to put the name of my blog to "bed" and introduce the new name. Thank you Fat Girl vs Skinny Girl and goodnight!

Organic news! let me tell you how eating organic can make you "starve yourself". Around 11:30 a.m. my stomach started to talk to me but I did not have anything to eat at work. I was suppose to only be at work for 2 hours so my plan was to eat at home. Okay, two hours turned into 4 hours and my stomach was really hungry. So, I went to the office refrigerator to see if I had any food left over from earlier in the week and of course I did not. But my coworker and dear friend had an apple in there but it was not organic. I pick it up and looked at it and thought it's only one non-organic apple, go on, eat it. (little Adam and Eve thing going on in my head) I could not do it because I though about all the chemicals that was used to grow it. So, I poured a big glass of water and told myself to wait until I go home. I was very proud of myself for waiting and not giving in. I am also happy to write that next week I will be visiting one of the organic farms here in San Diego county that provide the veggies and fruits that I buy. This will be my first time to a farm and I am very excited. My grandmother had a huge urban garden in Houston during the 70's and 80's. She dug up her front yard and grew fresh veggies year around. She would also share with her neighbors and she inspired them to plant their own gardens. So in the middle of a low income neighbors you could see gardens in every direction. It was the most beautiful sight to see. Love you grandmother!

Question of the day! What place are you in today?

1 comment:

  1. Great post! At this moment I'm in a good place. That is so wonderful that you're starting a garden! I just got off the phone with my mom telling her how I wish i had one because of the cost of organic foods. She wasn't able to find anyone to plow hers this year :( I was planning to drive 4 hrs to her hse to get some FREE fresh veggies. I remember growing up everyone in our neighborhood shared their crops. Ah the good old days.