Thursday, July 30, 2009

Gym Battle!!!

Let me tell you how hard it was for me to miss the gym yesterday. It was painful. I'm addicted to the gym. Yesterday was a scheduled day of rest for me but I did not like it. I had to tell myself over and over it's OK to rest and it is a requirement. My muscles really needed it. My soreness level was at a 10 but today it is at a 8 1/2.

Today is a new day and I feel energized and excited about going to the gym. Core Central is today. They should name it "first day of hell" because the class is really hot and hellish. The class will take you from lifting weights, to push up, to stepping, to doing sit ups, to running in circles. The class is a wall crasher. But I love it so much.

OK, I have learned that skinny girls wants to be pampered. I went from craving food to craving a massage. This has been on my mind for two weeks. I scheduled an appointment for a Vichy scrub and wrap next week. I can feel the treatment right now. Just reading the highlights of the treatment make me small. "Enjoy a full body massage that utilizes the techniques of a full body scrub, mud wrap and a 25 minute massage." I read "Vichy" water or literally "hot cross" means warm water crossing their path. The French know how to live life. I heard Tiger Woods went to this same spa and indulged the same body treatment. Just a little side bar. Skinny girls love the body scrub. It's strange how we humans have to find something that gives us pleasure. Some people love to eat, some love to read, some love to drink and smoke, some love adventure. The body need to be rewarded with pleasure.

My workout was amazing today. I was part of the 100% club. The lunges kick butt hard. My leg muscles are getting really stong becuase the exercises are getting easier. My friend praised me on my girl push up. She said my body is getting strong. My arms are building up because of these workout. I can do jumping jacks for 30 seconds now. This might not be a big deal to others but to me it is a true milestone. Last week I could do them for only 5 seconds. I'm so pleased with myself and skinny girl.

My workout routine will change next week. I'm going to add water arobics, boot camp and spinning. It is good to change the routine because I get to works different muscle groups.

Switching routines this weekend:

Friday - Rest

Saturday - Yoga and Turbo Kick Boxing

Sunday - Yoga and Turbo Kick Boxing

It's a rough schedule but it need to be done.

Thanks to my skinny girl!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Scars of Fat!

Weigh in day. When I saw the numbers on the scale my mind went to the negative. Fat girl was right all alone. Why am I doing this? All this work and nothing to show for it. After I had my moment of weakness I looked back at last week numbers and saw that my body fat had dropped. Yes, my weight went up but the fat is melting off. Thank you skinny girl. The scale can make or break your mood. I went from being mad and wanting to give up to happy and patting myself on the back. Good girlfriend! Skinny girl workout routine is working and that is what matters. It's about the amount of fat that is coming off my body. I went from 52.8% to 52.5. I will focus on the fat and not the weight. My clothes are not so tight including my underwear. My plan is to stop wanted to give up so fast. Like I said before fat girl gives me an out. She tells me it is OK to walk away. I do not want to walk away from this journey. This is something that I will work on.
My body feels tried today. The muscles around my knees are sore. As I was walking I felt like I was truly pulling 282 lbs behind me. I saw this lady the other day and she had very fat knees. I said to myself. "Wow! how do you get fat knees." Knees are not very attractive and fat makes them look real ugly. I read when a person want to add fat to their face or lips the doctor will pull fat from the their knees. Very interesting. The best way to add fat to your face is to eat like I use to eat. I was thinking yesterday about dropping weight and how it would change my appearance. I have noticed when a fat person drop a huge amount of weight their face look really old. I will wait and see. Looking old will not keep me dropping the weight.
Fat girl was back in my closet this morning. She had me changing clothes about 5 times before I decided to call up skinny girl for help. I hope this is not going to be a weekly thing because it makes me tried. I wanted to wear a dress because I love showing off my legs but nothing looked good. I decided on pants with a nice top and made it a day. I think this has something to do with the scale. I will to work on it.
OK, skinny girl is into dresses and showing off her back,shoulders and legs. I think fat girl is okay with it as well. Houston, we have a problem. The problem is my fat scar on my back. Yes, I have a fat war scar. Because I have had so much fat on my back for so many years it has cause dark line or scar. This is caused by sweat, oils and dirt on the skin rubbing together. Back fat is a bad thing. I can not wear open back dresses or tops because the scar is ugly. Overeating is bad in so many ways. I will try using scrubs to get it off. If not I will get a pretty tattoo to cover it.
Today, is a rest day and I deserve it. I will have more tomorrow. To be continued......

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Back Up!

Yesterday was a great day. I was excited about my day and all that I was learning about skinny girl. Skinny girl keeps my mind free from distractions. Fat girl did show her face about 3 minutes before my workout. She was telling me that I was tried from working so hard. She even made me feel like I was missing out on something if I went to the gym. For about 3minutes I felt the following way: Why are you making the gym your life? All of your friends get to go home and relax but you have to put in the work to get this weight off. Fat girl told me I have no life at all. She even ask me once the weight is off then what. How can you be working out with no plan? I think it is a good question but at this time it means nothing. I must do the work. I called up skinny girl and she told me to hang in there it will all pay off in the end. Skinny girl told me not to wait around for class just go.
I arrive at the gym excited about class (Core Central) this is a weight lifting class for the entire body. It was really tough but worth it. My muscles are screaming for mercy. The class was packed with skinny girls and guys. There was not one fat person in the room. That's right not one fat person in the room :-). I need the classes because they are structured and they target muscle groups I would never think to work. Every muscle in my body hurts but that means I'm in the 100% club. It's true, no pain no gain.
My workout class today 24S E.T. was brutal. The teacher is crazy and a maniac. This class includes weights and stepping. You talking about dizzy girl. Dizzy girl could be my next blog site. I had to step out for about 3 minutes to recover. My friend who is in shape said the class was very difficult for her. She was trying to get my attention hoping I would leave early but it did not work. She was happy in the end that we stayed. We both agreed the class is really hard but we need it. This class is about the legs and butt. Those areas are right up our alley.
I noticed in the shower how my arms are looking totally toned. They feel firm and smaller. Skinny girl routine is working. Skinny girl is tough and I don't think many people would do it. Skinny girl is like Jillian Michaels from the Biggest Loser. She is a warrior when it comes to exercise and anything goes that get my heart rate up. It has been a little scary to push myself so hard but I trust myself.
I really can not talk about food because she is not big on eating. Last night I had a grilled chicken thigh, cabbage and toasted french bread. I also had scoop of ice cream. No guilt at all.
Skinny girl is asking for a massage so I will treat her next week.
This will continue.....

Monday, July 27, 2009

Fat Girl Has Been Evicted!

This is my life! Yes, fat girl has been evicted, kicked out, been given the big boot and never to return. Skinny girl owns the building, the house, the body which includes the mind. It feels wonderful. New beginnings!

On Thursday night I informed fat girl this would be her last week here. Her services are no longer needed. It was not hard at all and no love lost. I have been known in the past to kick people out with no regrets. I have had practice.

Skinny girl took over and ran the show for the weekend. The first thing skinny girl did was to give me a two day break from exercising with no guilt. I needed to rest my body for two days and it paid off. Skinny girl is not that demanding when it comes to everyday duties. She loves a clean house and to my surprise she hates TV. I did not watch much TV this weekend.

I took skinny girl to the grocery store to see what she would like to eat and to my surprise she was not interested in grocery shopping. This is great for me in away but on the other hand it is frastrating. I bought some fruit and a cooked grilled chicken and made it a day. She eats healthy and that is what counts. I will not force the food issue anymore.

Last week I talked with my sister about skinny girl and fat girl and their impact on my life. My sister was very supported. I really appreciate that.

I also spoke with one of my dearest friends whom I have known for over 20 years. She is one of my biggest supporters and cheerleaders. She explained to me that my two girls are like good and evil. She said we all have them but I am just in touch with mine. I explained to her how I thought skinny girl was meek because she only shows up when I called on her. My friend explained that in the bible God gives us "free will" and that could include making mistakes. He will come when we call on him. When she explained that to me I got chills all down my body. My friend hit it on the nail. Skinny girl has been my God. Now, I would hate to call fat girl my devil but that is who she is. I felt free with fat girl, it was "anything go's."

Fat girl is not gone 100% at this point. I believe she will be back in another form of habit. She is not going to give up that fast and without pain. Fat girl is a fight and she will go down for control. I will just wait and see.

I went to a birthday pary on Saturday and it was a blast. The crowd was big with plenty of mexican food and drinks. Skinny girl was in control and ate in moderation. It was really easy and I was able to limit my corn chip intake which has always been really hard. This is all new to me. Skinny girl enjoyed watching all the people in the pool and socializing with the ones who set out. I, myself was at peace. When I got home I did not feel bad about my day because I did not overeat or drink. It was a great day.

There is so much for me to learn about skinny girl and I am looking forward to it. Happy days are here.
My new workout routine for this week:

Sunday: TKB (Turbo Kick Box)
Monday: TKB (Turbo Kick Box)
Tuesday: 24 S. E.T. and Yoga
Wednesday: Pilates
Thursday: Core Central
Friday: Rest
Saturday: TKB (Turbo Kick Box)
Day at the park for fun.
Sunday: Rest

Stay focus!
Be part of the 100% club
So much more to come.......

Friday, July 24, 2009

Skinny Girl Is My True Friend!

Yesterday was an awesome day. I, myself set down with one of my friends and talked with her about Skinny girl and Fat girl. She is very familiar with my two friends. I explained to her how Fat girl has been acting out over the fact that Skinny girl is back in the picture. Fat girl is upset with all this structure and commitment to eating well and exercising. We realized that Fat girl has always been in control of Skinny girl. Fat girl in the past has allowed Skinny girl to move in and out of my, myself life. But, this time it's a little different. Skinny girl is in the picture and she is not leaving. Fat girl is taking this really hard. I, myself realized that Fat girl has been the one to tell me "go on eat that cake, get that fried chicken, eat that ice cream, etc. She has always given me an out. We think Fat girl needs to go. She has not been good for me, myself or my life. Fat girl goes so much deeper than just eating that fried chicken and drinking that chocolate malt. She has controlled my life for years. Fat girl really hates Skinny girl. She has always been the winner with me, myself being the loser. Fat girl can not help that she is like this and I will not justify her. I, myself realize that I have allowed her to control my life. I, myself explained to my friend that I do not know Skinny girl very well. What I do know about Skinny girl is that she is a go getter, "she is ready to go all the time", she is a planner, she will stick with the plan, she is happy, she is not confused, she puts herself first, and she is at peace with herself. Skinny girl is not concerned with other people and their problems or what people think of her. Food does not control her life. She eat to live not live to eat. I, myself have to say this: my frig at this point does not belong to Skinny girl. It belongs to Fat girl. When Skinny girl looks in the frig she turns away from it because there is nothing in there that pleases her. What I, myself has realized over the past 2 weeks is that Skinny girl is not very hungry and she does not crave food. She is OK with just eating an apple and drinking a glass of milk for dinner. That is not Fat girl at all. She has to have her cheesy rice, gravy, baked chicken and ice cream. OK, this is all new to me. I, myself have no clue what type of foods Skinny girl like. She is into healthy foods. Eating is not very high on her list of things to do.
I, myself shared with my friend that Skinny girl is very meek. She is a background image. She appears when called on. I, myself and with my friend thinks she is that way because I, myself have turned my back on her for Fat girl so many times. I, myself will call on her once a year to help me loss weight and than tell her to go away. Skinny girl has no trust in me.
I, myself have decided to give fat girl the boot and ask Skinny girl to stay with me 100% of the time. I, myself told Fat girl she can go because I, myself need a change. My friend feels Skinny girl is so much better for me. This is so heavy but I, myself is looking forward to getting to know Skinny girl. Skinny girl is and has been my true friend and supporter. I, myself will never turn my back on her again.
Will continue.......

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Fat Girl Is Trouble!

Let's start with my workout last night. It was wonderful because skinny girl pushed me 100%. Yes, I was part of the 100% club and the (kick boxing camp class) kicked my butt. I pushed myself so hard that I felt like passing out. I, myself felt like a winner to be in the 100% club.

This morning skinny girl was really meek. She did not have much to say just good job and keep it up. Skinny girl planned to workout this morning and she planned to eat very healthy for the rest of the week. Skinny girl loved the way her legs and arms felt after last nights workout. I, myself was proud of skinny girl. So, this morning it was all good. Until.....

Fat girl was angry. This new workout routine is getting on her nerves. Fat girl went into attack mode. Fat girl told me, myself that you are fat and you have not lost any weight. You are working to hard and the exercise is making you sick. Fat girl had me trying on 5 different outfits because she said my body looked fat in them all. She had me, myself wanting to toss the towel in. She was also back on that breakfast burrito crave again. Fat girl wants something to satisfy her because this exercise is not doing it for her. She feels left out and neglected. Fat girl wanted me, myself to feel bad that my body is not showing any progress. Fat girl had me planning a vacation for 1 week to get away from all the exercise routine. She had it all planned out. I was to go and vacation at Bryce Canyon and not think about workout. Fat girl is powerful! Fat girl is a true distractor. She hates that I'm not giving up on what is good for my body.

I ask skinny girl to step in and help. Skinny girl told me to stay focus and strong. It has only been two weeks and it's not about the outside but how the inside feels. Shinny girl told me that I was fine in my clothes and not to change anymore. She told me, myself not to think about going on a vacation for 3 months because I have work to do here. I, myself took skinny girls advice and I, myself became very peaceful and told fat girl to go away. Skinny girl is power as well. Skinny girl is meek and she gives me room to make mistakes but she is there at all time. Skinny girl is there for me when I call her and that is how it should be. Fat girl is always in my face and she is not very nice. I love them both but we need to find that balance.

This morning I, myself went to workout (core boot camp) it was all about the abs, legs and arms. I ask skinny girl to hang with me and push me. She did and when I was falling off she told me to be part of the 100% club. I feel great and successful.

I, myself has decided to ask 50 women that are the ideal shape in my eyes 3 questions. I want to know how they maintain their weight and what is their exercise routine. I will call this group 100%er's: My first member was:

What do you eat for breakfast? Drink coffee with cream
What is your exercise routine? Walking, Cardio Exercise, Tai Chi
What advice would you give me? This is powerful advise: You must care about what you put in your body. Be neurotic about your weight. People care more about what type of toilet paper they use to wipe their butts than what they put in their bodies.

This has been a wonderful week!.....

What I learned this week: Weight management can be a battle and you should listen to the voice of reason. Stay focus.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Skinny Girl wants the truth!

Skinny girl would like for me to share my true weight as of today. I, myself will post my weight once a week until October 21, 2009. I should know the meaning of it all on this date. My height is 5'9 and according to medical reports I should weight between 150 - 170. I will shoot for 170. This is going to be a good battle between fat girl and skinny girl. I, myself wish me luck!

Grill vs Fried

Ok, here we go! Let's talk about yesterday. My friend ask me to come over to her house to help her decorate the back yard for her daughters birthday party this weekend. I, myself decided to pick up some dinner because I did not like what she was preparing for dinner. So skinny girl made the dinner plans. She planned to pick up brown rice and steamed broccoli from a Tai restaurant and pick up some grilled chicken from KFC. All went well with the rice and broc but like always KFC had a 25 minute wait on the grilled chicken. Now fat girl was tagging along with the plan but when she found out about the 25 minute wait she pushed skinny girl out the way to put the fried chicken pressure on. Skinny girl jumped in and said no go to the grocery store and get the grilled chicken. I, myself agree with skinny girl. I think fat girl was upset but she went for the ride but she was done. So I, myself made it to the store and the grilled chicken was there. So skinny girl asked for 2 grilled legs and 1 grilled wing. Ok, I got the goods but on my way to the cashier counter fat girl appeared. She pulled me towards the deli cakes, cookies, breads, and muffins. Truly I, myself was walking back and forward looking and thinking, should I do this. Now skinny girl was nowhere around. She was not there to help me avoid what fat girl was doing. So, with my will power I made it to the counter but turned and picked up a kit kat candy bar. Yes, I myself did it. Fat girl was not going to be ignored. As I was eating the kit kat bar I was wondering to myself "what happen to skinny girl?" I, myself did not think about the two after that. I helped my friend with her decorations, ate dinner and watch a little tv before I headed home.

This morning I woke up and thought about yesterday and all that I did. I was happy with most of it all except the moment when skinny girl did not help me pull away from fat girl. Skinny girl thought this morning about her workout yesterday and how strong her legs felt. She thought about her workout today and for the rest of the week. Skinny girl is very interesting. She will fight for exercise but she will not fight for food. Skinny girl gives suggestions on how and what to eat but she will not battle with fat girl over the bad foods. That is something I, myself need to figure out.

Now fat girl woke up thinking about food. She wanted a bacon, egg and cheese burrito from the local taco shop. Fat girl was not thinking about exercising or anything about health. She was thinking aobut all the fun things planned for this weekend. Fat girl will not be ignore and she will get attention anyway possible. She get attention from eating and changing plans. She is a heavy hitter when it comes to Skinny girl. Skinny girl is very meek and passive when it comes to food. Ok, this need to be worked on.

Skinny girl workout plan for me today is: TKB-Turbo Kick Boxing and Yoga. That is the plan and I, myself is looking forward to it. I, myself is part of the 100% club. I will give my all. Skinny girl would like for me to eat light.

Fat girl is ok with that plan right know but it is still early in the day. Fat girl is the one that likes to make changes.

This will continue.....

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Tug of War

Ok, I named this blog FG vs SG because this is my battle. It has been a true tug of war for many years. Now don't get me wrong, I love fat girl and I love skinny girl but they don't always meet in the middle. Skinny girl has shown her face many times in my life but fat girl is the one that always win the war. Skinny girl is very interesting. She is my fire and my push when it comes to dropping weight. She get me all fired up for weeks but then it happens, fat girl gets really mad and takes over. What I have realized is that fat girl is my distraction, she is my blamer, she is my weakness but she is my warrior. Skinny girl is a pusher but she is weak in her own way. I understand that I need them both in my life and I can not ignore them. I' am caught in the middle of this battle. I can admit that in the past I have sided with fat girl. Fat girl gives me freedom and she is ok with me. She is hard core and she has so much power. Skinny girl gives me structure and discipline. I think those two words are my enemy. Of course that is fat girl talking. My plan is to spend more time with skinny girl but not ignore fat girl. Fat girl is bad for my health when she is ignored.

Today I went to the gym as skinny girl. OMG! We took a very intense class called:
24S E.T. This cardio/strength combination class alternates strength exercises to sculpt every major muscle group with easy to follow step moves. This class kick butt! When I finished this class my body was burning with joy. I pushed myself.

The other day I went to a kickboxing class and pushed my self about 80%. I have to admit that skinny girl was nowhere around that day. I ended the class 15 minutes early and set on the stationary bike waiting for my yoga class to start. As I was looking at the exercisers I saw how hard they were working. It was a pumped up class. As the exercisers started doing the football runs I noticed the feet of a fat guy. His feet never left the floor. He did not raise his leg and he did not raise his arms. He was not pumped like the others. The others had their feet off the ground, their knees in the air and their hands over their heads. I thought to myself, wow! he is not giving his all. He is not in the 100% club. I realized that I was not giving my all. Not giving 100% is one factor to being overweight. Now, I realize fat guy could be in pain, he could be disable, or he just felt as if he needed to be there. I understand that but just being there at the gym is not enough. So I decided to be in the 100% club. I will push myself and pick my feet up. Fat guy opened my eyes. Dropping weight has to mean something. Just going to the gym and reducing portion is not enough. What does it all mean? I'm going to give myself 3 months from this day to figure it out. October 21, 2009 I will have the answer! What does it all mean? That is the question.

Now back to FG vs SG!

What I realized is that skinny girl is an athlete and she want to be successful. Skinny girl only want to be successful in the weight loss department. That is her only purpose in life. She has no other goals or desires. Is it ok to have only one desire or goal? Athletes give 100% during their exercise workout. They know how to push themselves until they hit the wall and than they try to push through the wall. They don't mind passing out. My skinny girl is in the 100% club. On the other hand fat girl is in the 40% - 60% club. Know that club is good enough for fat girl. Fat girl has many wants and desires. She wants to learn about everything in the world. She want to visit every city in the world. She wants to do it all. Fat girl is all over the place. Fat girl has big desires and plans. Fat girl is free to dream, hope and plan. FG and SG is in the same boat. I need to find their balance.

More to come.....