Yesterday was an awesome day. I, myself set down with one of my friends and talked with her about Skinny girl and Fat girl. She is very familiar with my two friends. I explained to her how Fat girl has been acting out over the fact that Skinny girl is back in the picture. Fat girl is upset with all this structure and commitment to eating well and exercising. We realized that Fat girl has always been in control of Skinny girl. Fat girl in the past has allowed Skinny girl to move in and out of my, myself life. But, this time it's a little different. Skinny girl is in the picture and she is not leaving. Fat girl is taking this really hard. I, myself realized that Fat girl has been the one to tell me "go on eat that cake, get that fried chicken, eat that ice cream, etc. She has always given me an out. We think Fat girl needs to go. She has not been good for me, myself or my life. Fat girl goes so much deeper than just eating that fried chicken and drinking that chocolate malt. She has controlled my life for years. Fat girl really hates Skinny girl. She has always been the winner with me, myself being the loser. Fat girl can not help that she is like this and I will not justify her. I, myself realize that I have allowed her to control my life. I, myself explained to my friend that I do not know Skinny girl very well. What I do know about Skinny girl is that she is a go getter, "she is ready to go all the time", she is a planner, she will stick with the plan, she is happy, she is not confused, she puts herself first, and she is at peace with herself. Skinny girl is not concerned with other people and their problems or what people think of her. Food does not control her life. She eat to live not live to eat. I, myself have to say this: my frig at this point does not belong to Skinny girl. It belongs to Fat girl. When Skinny girl looks in the frig she turns away from it because there is nothing in there that pleases her. What I, myself has realized over the past 2 weeks is that Skinny girl is not very hungry and she does not crave food. She is OK with just eating an apple and drinking a glass of milk for dinner. That is not Fat girl at all. She has to have her cheesy rice, gravy, baked chicken and ice cream. OK, this is all new to me. I, myself have no clue what type of foods Skinny girl like. She is into healthy foods. Eating is not very high on her list of things to do.
I, myself shared with my friend that Skinny girl is very meek. She is a background image. She appears when called on. I, myself and with my friend thinks she is that way because I, myself have turned my back on her for Fat girl so many times. I, myself will call on her once a year to help me loss weight and than tell her to go away. Skinny girl has no trust in me.
I, myself have decided to give fat girl the boot and ask Skinny girl to stay with me 100% of the time. I, myself told Fat girl she can go because I, myself need a change. My friend feels Skinny girl is so much better for me. This is so heavy but I, myself is looking forward to getting to know Skinny girl. Skinny girl is and has been my true friend and supporter. I, myself will never turn my back on her again.
Will continue.......
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