Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My Social Group Hates Boundaries!

Sorry but I truly thought the boundary conversation was over but it's back. Today, a few of my friends ask me "how did you drop so much weight?" I explained to them that two months ago I decided to workout and eat healthier. Most of my friends have been out of the loop because I decided not to take them down that road trip again.

Their next questions was "are you on a diet?" When I explained to them that I had set some food boundaries they looked at me like I was a wild woman running naked down the street. One said loudly "you must be off your rocker!" "Why are you doing that?" The other said "there goes our friendship!" and I turned and said are you guys serious. I ask them "do you really believe my food boundaries will change our friendship?" One said, hell yes! I ask "why do you all believe the friendship will change?" They all agreed that we would not have anything in common. This was like a stab in the heart with a twist. I could not believe that my girls would allow food to ruin the friendship. Okay, this is my reality and I am happy that it came out so soon. I tried to assure them that my new eating behaviors would not impact our relationship at all. They felt because of my changes they would have to set their own food boundaries. I asked them if they wanted to change their behavior and they all said, "no!" I told them that was fine with me and I am okay with their food choices. The girls seemed to be relieved and said they admired me and would support me 100%. This day was a huge turning point in my social life with the girls. Personally, I do not believe they support my food behaviors 100% and for me that is okay. This is my business and life. I can see less social dinners with them. Doctors tell drug addicts, smokers, and drinkers to find a new social group and that is what I have to do. My girls love to eat and eat. I have always been the healthiest eater in the group but I never had boundaries. This is not a big deal to me but it has made others feel uncomfortable. For me to make this work I must stay focus and not let others make me feel bad about my food choices. For the next 3 months I will monitor my social life and document how much it has changed. This might be a wonderful time to welcome some new healthier eaters into my life. This is all new but I am open to the changes.


OMG! my weight lifting instructor beat us down to the ground today. She made us do about 100 lunges, 100 squats, 100 chest press, 100 sit ups and push up, and 100 jumping jacks. This was a true 100% club. After the beating she told us that she loved us very much and pretended to give us a big huggi-hug. We all screamed and fell out. It was a really good class. This month she focused on endurance training to build up our stamina. My stamina has improved about 50% compared to 2 months ago when it was about 15%. I could not do 10 jumping jack but now I can do about 65. My friend and workout partner can do over 100 without breaking a sweat but she is 29 years old and she weighs 99 pounds. The hard work is paying off and I can wait to see myself at the beginning of the year. Next month we will focus on strength training.


I have been researching fruits high in fiber and here is what I found:

Raspberries - is the highest
Apple w/skin

These are all favorites of mine and will be eating more of them.


  1. I can't believe they would say that, even jokingly. But, you are right. Maybe you need to monitor and reassess those relationships.

    The 100 thing would have kicked my butt.

  2. I had this happen, I had to decide - am I a fat girl trying to be skinny, or am I a skinny girl trapped in a fat girls body? I decided I was skinny just 'in progress' under construction, if you will. I know I will not be big for much longer, and as I focus more on health, being active and start seeing food differently I have found some of my friends aren't up for the ride. I still love them, but we do hang out less, and I hang out with my healthy friends more. In fact it motivates me to have fit friends.

  3. I lost 3 friends about a month into my journey to healthier eating. People are so weird...but I gotta' tell ya'...the few friends that are still around, are the ones that were worth having in the first place. :)

  4. Get out! I didn't realize raspberries were high fiber. I love those dang things.

  5. Sorry about your friends comments. I have only told about 3 people so far about my efforts. People know I'm going to the gym, but don't really know my specific plans! Good for you that you were able to not succumb and say "Yah, you're right, screw it - friends are more important!" That is something to be proud of! Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting!