Back to Reality!

Back to reality from the Thanksgiving Holiday. I hope all my blogging buddies had a joyful holiday.

There was a ton of food but this year it was secondary. Just spending time with my friends was the primary reason for the day.

This years Thanksgiving was very special to me because my mind and body was in the right place. I was blessed to attend two Thanksgiving dinners this year. The first dinner was at 1 p.m. and the second was at 6 p.m. I ate very healthy at the dinner #1 and saved dinner #2 for dessert and wine.

On my way home I thought about how bless I was to share my Thanksgiving day with so many wonderful people new and old. I had just shared my day with over 50 people between the two houses. This year the meaning of Thanksgiving was about being with people that love and care about you. It was about sharing the years happenings and the future. This year I thank God for my family and friends.

Today was my first day working out since Tuesday. It felt really good to be back in the gym and I did not gain a pound. Tonight my plan is to make out my workout schedule for the month of December. My workout goal is to focus on agility training. I feel the need to run so most of my classes will include some form of cardio. I can see a ton of boot camp classes in my future :-).

Well, that is all for today. All of you please have a wonderful day.

The Lion In Me!

I have been a lion for the past three days but not in a good way. Major cravings for dark chocolate. I ate 3 pieces of Dove dark chocolate promises but it did not work. These cravings are overwhelming especially when there is no reason for the cravings. Since the answer was not there, I decided to do 10 jumping jacks and 10 push-ups whenever the craving flamed up. Let me tell you the craving pass very fast when exercise is involve. I can not give in because I have done it so many times in the past. My life is different and I can afford to return to my old habits. Life is good and I don't want to mess things up.

I will not blame these cravings on hormone changes, emotions or that time of the month. If I did that I would be justifying why it is okay to eat the junk foods. The most important thing I have learn from this craving battle is that taking one bit will lead to 50 more bits. For me this is very dangerous. The Dove promise satisfied me for only 5 minute but after that I wanted more. I had to find a solution. Exercise will kill the cravings.

Clothes: This morning I put my size 16 pants and they fell right off. Unbelievable experience! Since I stop eating white rice and pasta over two months ago the weight has fallen off so fast. It's time to go shopping again. Wow! maybe a size 12/14. I have not seen those sizes since I was 14 years old. I have gone from a size 22 to 14 in 4 1/2 months. The average person would not believe me but I did it with better eating habits and exercise. It feels really good.

Hair: Yesterday I decided to cut my hair really short. I mean really really really short. Very close to the scalp. I wanted to be free from the hair and all that it stood for. 'I am not my hair!' As I watched my hair fall to the floor I thought to myself 'freedom at last!' What a weight lifted off my shoulders. As I walked to the mirror I could feel the cool air on my head and a big smile came to my face. The person that looked back in the mirror at me was new, fresh, happy, peaceful, light, bright, and full of love with self. It was a new day. My friends and coworkers love the new me and a few said 'I wish I had the guts to cut my hair'. Believe me it takes a strong person to do it. You have to believe in yourself and not worry about what others will think or say.

Pressure cooker: I used my pressure cooker for the first time yesterday and man is it fast. I was able to cook white beans in 20 minutes and beef cubes in 15 minutes. Very tender and yummy. Add to your Christmas gift list.

Exercise tomorrow: Weighting Lifting

Plan for the week!

Nothing much going on with me just wanted to check in with my blogging friends. To all please stay strong during this Thanksgiving week. Continue to eat healthy and workout. We can and will do it. Good luck friends!

Eating: Review my boundary list and stick with it. Watch my portions, and drink plenty of water.

Exercise: Sunday - Wednesday all cardio workouts. More energy burns more fat.

Sliding into the Danger Zone! Emotions vs. Control

Today I took a much needed rest from exercising. My body is in recovery mode now and it feels good.

Today the office was full of excitement because my director return from her 6 month maternity leave. All day I could hear chatter and laughter. Our boss is very smart and pretty hip. She is not a micro-manager and she allows us to be creative when it comes to our job. I really like that about her.

But trouble was brewing: For the first 2 hours of the excitement all I could think about was eating something. So, I grab a cheese stick, next I grabbed a slice of multigrain bread and after that I was thinking about going out to eat something really yummy, you all know what that is like. Yeah! comfort food. No! I said to myself get a grip on yourself. I set back in my chair and ask myself, "why are you behaving this way?" It was the excitement in the air. In the past I have associated happiness with food so because I was happy to see my boss I wanted to celebrate her return by eating. I was in the the danger zone of letting my food boundaries down. Man, my boss stirred up my dormant emotions. She was on leave when I decided back in July to get the weight off again for the last time. It's weird but I have an emotional attachment with her. It's time to get it under control.

The confrontation:After I confronted myself with this behavior all my cravings went away. I realized that it is okay to celebrate without eating. This is a huge awareness for me. So for lunch I ate my homemade sandwich with turkey, spinach, cheese, shredded carrots on multigrain bread. My coworker has named my sandwich the "orange slider" because I like carrots on my sandwich. My lunch was really good because I made it and I enjoyed the rest of my day. Just call me "crazyemotionalgirl".

Emotions: I must be in control of my emotions at all times because they will make trouble for me. Being happy and eating was always partners in the past. I never turned to food when I was sad. Now that I look back, I guess I was always happy because I am/was obese. No more eating on emotions for me. Asking questions is the key to success.

I am/was obese?-That is the question. I don't see myself as obese now. My friends don't see me as obese now. My doctor don't see me as obese now. So, who am I now? I have to say that I don't look fat anymore but I do have the belly rolls when I sit down. For sure there is still more to work to be done. My dress size is 16 and pants 18 as of 4 weeks ago. This is not the end for. This topic is still in the air so I will revisit it in a few weeks.

Questions of the day (emotions vs. food): What emotions do you associate food with? What do you do to control it?

Thanks for your feedback. It's nice to know that I am not alone.

Exercise tomorrow: Weight lifting and Capoeira

Giving Permission!

Hey guys I survived my weight lifting class this morning. I realized why the class has been so hard these past two weeks. With the addition of Capoiera and step aerobics I am not giving myself time to recover for my weight lifting class on Tuesday. My legs felt fatigue from my Capoiera class last night. I could not get them to work this morning for the weight lifting class. You talking about jello legs. I was showing signs of frustration during class because I was so tried. I even contemplated walking out but I did not want to give in to the fatigue. As I tuned out the instructor I thought about why my body was so tried. I turned to my 29 year old friend and said "no more step aerobics on Mondays", it's time for me to make a choice. Capoeira and weight lifting takes priority because the benefits are better for my body this month. I realized today that I am not superwoman.

Doctor's check-up: Today when my doctor saw me she almost fainted because of the my weight. She said "you look so skinny and much taller". She ask for my secret. I told her no secret just food boundaries and exercise. She wanted to know more about my food boundaries and I told her that I cut out all the junk, fat, and processed foods. After checking my ears she told me not to deprive myself of all the bad stuff. According to her, it's okay to eat a small bit of pie or ice cream every once in awhile. I assured her that I was not depriving myself of those things I just had no desire to eat them anymore. It was funny to hear her give me permission to eat junk food. She is very sweet but no junk for me.

Permission to eat: For the past few days I have heard so many people giving themselves and others permission to eat any and everything because of the holidays. This is how it sounds "it's okay to eat that because it's the holidays". The media loves to give us permission but later tell us how wrong it was for us to do it. Sadly, I have read that a few bloggers are giving up on their health journey because of the holidays. They are writing about how hard it is to stick with their health plans during the holidays. I just want to tell them to stay strong this will pass. My instructor told us 2 months ago that the average American will gain between 8 - 15 pounds (give and take a few) between Halloween and New Years. Those numbers are disturbing for the obese community. I don't want to go down that road again so I will give myself permission not to overeat and stay away from the foods with no nutritional value. I am looking forward to the holidays and all that comes with it.

Exercise: rest and relax tomorrow

Question of the day: Will you give yourself permission to eat any and everything? Why?

Have a wonderful day!

Mr. Heartburn Pill! No Thank You!

I would like to send you all that commented on my last blog a big thank you!

Food: Yesterday I added pork ribs to my boundary list. I cooked a small slab in the oven and after eating them I had to ask myself "why did I eat that?" I hate that question! I put them on the list because after eating (3 ribs) I felt stuffed, bloated, tried, and greasy. My body did not like them so they made the list. My system has changed over the past 4 months so that is why these types foods are being added to my list. I also believe that listening to my body is really causing me to stop eating these foods.

The other day I saw a heartburn commercial and the actor was holding her stomach because her belly was upset and on fire. The commercial was recommending a heartburn pill that will help stop the burn and allow her to continue eating. Well, I thought "okay take this pill that is a chemical because it will solve my problem." This is silly information. My body is rejecting this food for a reason so why continue to eat it even with the heartburn pill. No, thank you Mr. Heartburn Pill! For me I had to laugh because people will do any and everything to continue to eat the foods that the body is rejecting. One thing I have notice since I started listening to my body is that it never rejects fresh veggies, fruits, lean meats, and whole grain foods. I think my body is the smart one in the house!

Exercise: I did a 45 minute step class and 1:40 minute Capoeira class. My balance and strength has improved so much over the past month. I have to give it up to my Capoeira class. This class has been a wonderful addition to my workout program. Tomorrow I have "crackgirl" weight lifting-class in the morning. I think she will go for blood because next week is Thanksgiving. It will be a kick butt class.

Question of the day: What foods have your body rejected?

Causality of Obesity! Dedication Story

I want to dedicate my blog to the passing of one of my dearest friends of 15 years Dwight. He passed away Thursday evening from heart and kidney failure at the age of 53.

He was my Dboy aka Bigboy. Dboy was a victim or causality of what we are all blogging about "obesity". I met him in the Cardiology office were I worked in 1994. I remember that first day well because I was ordered to bring two scales in the exam room because Dwight was coming in that day. I ask "why two scales?" and the doctor said because he is big boy. I could not wait to see him because I had never seen a person that needed to be weighed on two scales. So he arrived and the only thing I noticed about him was his huge smile. Not his big body but his smile. This guy weighed 650 pounds but his smiled weighed 1000. He was the most polite man I had ever met. I had no idea that day we would become the best of friends.

Over the years he struggled with his weight and always wanted to reduce it but he had no idea how to. He was on all kinds of programs but they all failed in the end. He was not a good candidate for the gastric bypass because his heart was so bad. I encouraged him to join the YMCA and take water aerobics which he enjoyed but he would always have health set backs that would take him away from exercising. Dwight always told me how much he loved me and appreciated my help. He would joke about our friendship stating "I never thought I could love a girl that I have never kissed or held hands with" but that was our relationship. He was like a big brother to and I enjoyed talking with him.

Dwight stopped living life on July 16, 2007 when he left his house for the last time to go into the hospital because of kidney failure. His hope was always to go back home but that was not going to happen. He was being keep alive but he was not living life. According to all his doctors obesity was the cause of his health problems that lead up to his death on Thursday. Dwight was a fighter because he was not ready to go. He had big dreams like traveling, seeing his son's graduate from college, attending their weddings, meeting his grandchildren. He even wanted to get married and have more kids of his own. Well, he will have to watch all of that from above now.

This is my message to you friend: Thank you for being my friend and brother. I am so happy that you can rest in peace now because you deserve it. Peace and love always my friend.

In loving memory June 17, 1956 - November 12, 2009