Today I took a much needed rest from exercising. My body is in recovery mode now and it feels good.
Today the office was full of excitement because my director return from her 6 month maternity leave. All day I could hear chatter and laughter. Our boss is very smart and pretty hip. She is not a micro-manager and she allows us to be creative when it comes to our job. I really like that about her.
But trouble was brewing: For the first 2 hours of the excitement all I could think about was eating something. So, I grab a cheese stick, next I grabbed a slice of multigrain bread and after that I was thinking about going out to eat something really yummy, you all know what that is like. Yeah! comfort food. No! I said to myself get a grip on yourself. I set back in my chair and ask myself, "why are you behaving this way?" It was the excitement in the air. In the past I have associated happiness with food so because I was happy to see my boss I wanted to celebrate her return by eating. I was in the the danger zone of letting my food boundaries down. Man, my boss stirred up my dormant emotions. She was on leave when I decided back in July to get the weight off again for the last time. It's weird but I have an emotional attachment with her. It's time to get it under control.
The confrontation:After I confronted myself with this behavior all my cravings went away. I realized that it is okay to celebrate without eating. This is a huge awareness for me. So for lunch I ate my homemade sandwich with turkey, spinach, cheese, shredded carrots on multigrain bread. My coworker has named my sandwich the "orange slider" because I like carrots on my sandwich. My lunch was really good because I made it and I enjoyed the rest of my day. Just call me "crazyemotionalgirl".
Emotions: I must be in control of my emotions at all times because they will make trouble for me. Being happy and eating was always partners in the past. I never turned to food when I was sad. Now that I look back, I guess I was always happy because I am/was obese. No more eating on emotions for me. Asking questions is the key to success.
I am/was obese?-That is the question. I don't see myself as obese now. My friends don't see me as obese now. My doctor don't see me as obese now. So, who am I now? I have to say that I don't look fat anymore but I do have the belly rolls when I sit down. For sure there is still more to work to be done. My dress size is 16 and pants 18 as of 4 weeks ago. This is not the end for. This topic is still in the air so I will revisit it in a few weeks.
Questions of the day (emotions vs. food): What emotions do you associate food with? What do you do to control it?
Thanks for your feedback. It's nice to know that I am not alone.
Exercise tomorrow: Weight lifting and Capoeira
Good-Bye 2010 - Ending My Blog!
7 years ago