Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Sliding into the Danger Zone! Emotions vs. Control

Today I took a much needed rest from exercising. My body is in recovery mode now and it feels good.

Today the office was full of excitement because my director return from her 6 month maternity leave. All day I could hear chatter and laughter. Our boss is very smart and pretty hip. She is not a micro-manager and she allows us to be creative when it comes to our job. I really like that about her.

But trouble was brewing: For the first 2 hours of the excitement all I could think about was eating something. So, I grab a cheese stick, next I grabbed a slice of multigrain bread and after that I was thinking about going out to eat something really yummy, you all know what that is like. Yeah! comfort food. No! I said to myself get a grip on yourself. I set back in my chair and ask myself, "why are you behaving this way?" It was the excitement in the air. In the past I have associated happiness with food so because I was happy to see my boss I wanted to celebrate her return by eating. I was in the the danger zone of letting my food boundaries down. Man, my boss stirred up my dormant emotions. She was on leave when I decided back in July to get the weight off again for the last time. It's weird but I have an emotional attachment with her. It's time to get it under control.

The confrontation:After I confronted myself with this behavior all my cravings went away. I realized that it is okay to celebrate without eating. This is a huge awareness for me. So for lunch I ate my homemade sandwich with turkey, spinach, cheese, shredded carrots on multigrain bread. My coworker has named my sandwich the "orange slider" because I like carrots on my sandwich. My lunch was really good because I made it and I enjoyed the rest of my day. Just call me "crazyemotionalgirl".

Emotions: I must be in control of my emotions at all times because they will make trouble for me. Being happy and eating was always partners in the past. I never turned to food when I was sad. Now that I look back, I guess I was always happy because I am/was obese. No more eating on emotions for me. Asking questions is the key to success.

I am/was obese?-That is the question. I don't see myself as obese now. My friends don't see me as obese now. My doctor don't see me as obese now. So, who am I now? I have to say that I don't look fat anymore but I do have the belly rolls when I sit down. For sure there is still more to work to be done. My dress size is 16 and pants 18 as of 4 weeks ago. This is not the end for. This topic is still in the air so I will revisit it in a few weeks.

Questions of the day (emotions vs. food): What emotions do you associate food with? What do you do to control it?

Thanks for your feedback. It's nice to know that I am not alone.

Exercise tomorrow: Weight lifting and Capoeira


  1. What self control you have!! That is great!! I think a lot of us associate food with celebration. Anytime there's a birthday, anniversary, retirement, etc.. food is always involved. When I try to show self control, I normally just go look in the mirror before I eat, LOL... after seeing my belly rolls and huge thighs.. I'm like, okay Melissa you don't need to add another roll to the ones you got. Then I can pretty much get it together, LOL...

  2. I love food as a "meet up" activity. Seeing friends, getting together for a meeting, etc. It's something I have to work on every single day. UUGGHH!!

  3. What awesome control and it's great that you identified it right away that you could slip. What cartoon character said "And Knowing is half the battle?" Way to go!