The "Belly" In The Mirror!

Day 9 of my cardio blast! It's going very well and I am improving my cardio endurance everyday. This morning I ended up taking another weight lifting /Cardio class because my kick boxing class was moved to a earlier time . The instructor had us during a ton of exercises geared towards the arms and shoulders. She worked us really hard in the abs area as well. The class was a little soft because of the instructors focus but it was worth my time. My plan this week is to take the weight lifting class from a male instructor. I like mixing it up because men target different muscle. So this week the men will rule my cardio workouts.

Today while in class I took a long look at myself in the mirror. The first thing I wanted to do was criticize my body shape. I saw the extra roll around my belly and pinched it really hard. First, word that came to my brain was "ugly". The second word was "okay". So, I told myself "stop the crap talk" and be happy with your dedication to this journey. It just blows me away how I can be working out really hard and the negativity hit me like a brick. It's really sad because I have not had any negative thoughts for awhile. I am a very positive person so the negative image of myself really angers me. It just come out of no where! I have slimmed down so much since I started this road trip and everyone can see it. I can see it as well. So what was the problem today? It's crazy. I will figure it out and blog about it soon.

The belly is my target for the next three weeks. I am going to put in more time at home during belly exercises. My obliques need some work so I can see a ton of side crunches in the near future. There is a positive story about the belly this week. I put a pair of dress pants and my to my surprise I was able to use the first button without holding in my belly. That brought a big smile to my face. No more second buttons!

Side Bar about the boundary list: Yesterday my friend told me she ate a food that was on her boundary list or it should have been on the list. Frozen yogurt and she justified it by adding sliced bananas. She felt very guilty and asked herself the famous crap question "why did I eat that?" She explained how she let her boundaries down without thinking about what she really needed and that was protein. She did well the first week but she started out her second week on a bad note. This lady does not trust herself and she is always waiting to fail. I told her to remember this feeling and stay focused. Obese folks can not let their boundaries down at all. Sometimes I think she want to fail so she will have something to talk about. She has a history of this behavior and we have talked about it before. She is very good at justifying her bad behaviors and than feelings like crap later. I told her to get back on track and take another look at her list. No more justification.

I am going to focus on my body image in a positive way. I have one body so why should I beat it down.